More days like today.....

So much for my silly resolutions...no more blogging...won't talk to him anymore...don't care about anyone...lol, there's a reason this is called the flip flop diaries...I've made flip flopping an art form!
Migraine aside...I wish I had more days like today...maybe my body gives in and my brain takes a rest, and I'm more available to see the good in everyone...what is it?
It's nice to feel that people care....I mean, today for instance...I felt crappy, the girls that work with me brought me home...everyone tended to me...yep, attention...I absolutely love it! But what else is new?
I spoke to him.....and without intending to sound corny...his voice is soothing...but I've always thought that...I like the man...and that's a fact. And it's almost like we're meant to stay connected no matter what....could it be that I've been in denial and that him and I will be an item no matter how much time goes by, and what the circumstances are? It certainly feels that way...today.
When we connect...and make sense...we're so good together...maybe it's not supposed to be good all the time, and like everything else worth while in life it needs to be worked on? Yep...I'm actually making sense today...must be the meds...lol.
And of course the fact that I got what I've been wanting....hehehe....he said he misses me...and even went into giving me details...wow! LMAO...my goodness, the silliest little things that really mean something when you care about someone...
I really miss him too....alot. But today it doesn't feel like heavy and shitty but more so...sweet and peaceful...my brain accepts it...today. Ha!
Maybe I need to show the sweetness that I've been asking him to show me....and if I feel like telling him what's on my mind...then, so be it...regardless of what he may or may not say...
Smiles...he told me that he misses me...and that's the highlight of my day today....I'm so easy when it comes to him....NOT! But, seriously though...that man really means alot to me...what is it about him though? That he's stood his ground? Yes...as much as I hate it...the fact that he's consistent and doesn't budge is a huge turn on...lol...and that he can set me straight when he needs to...he's a MAN! LOL...I haven't met many that do that...and I guess that's where everything has lots it's charm....the fact that he doesn't sell out is appealing....and I can bitch and moan and if he doesn't want to do or say something...he won't. Hate it at times...but it's one more reason to love the man....and boy do I....lmao. And you know what? I'm starting to feel comfortable knowing that...like it's a fact, not a burden, or a mistake...or anything negative....he's an important part of my life....and I love him very much, so there!
I would dare say he does love me back....I just want to hear it...lol. But, in my gutt...I can feel it.
I want to see him....and hug him...and look into his eyes...and feel stupid and weak, and idiotic...and love it....and enjoy all of him...and allow him to enjoy all of me...without any bs....why can't I stay in this mood forever? We'd be so happy...lol.
So here I am, in pain...but smiling....because of my chinese food. Yep, I said mine...because as far as I'm concerned...we have each other...the details of the arrangement aren't important right now...so shuttup brain...lol. I'm on a high here....and want to stay there...so let me dream up all I want...lol.
Talking to him today was almost as good as having his arms around me....and I really needed that today. Sometimes I do....but, I'm not going to go down that road and get all sad here....
If he were here, he'd say not need...want....lol...semantics...who gives a shit? lololol...
More smiles....yep, I do wish I had more days like today...maybe I can help them by working on keeping this mindset?
I can imagine his face, as we talk over the phone...and his expressions....when he gets frustrated with me...lol...and when his eyes light up when I say something funny....or he realizes that I'm too much for him to handle...lol...I wonder how many times he's thought that...
If he was here right now....I'd ask him to stay still....while I made love to him...I'd ask him to not even move....while I do everything...lol...why did that thought cross my mind? I haven't the slightest clue...but, it's there...lol, and it looks and feels very very good...
Today's a good day...let's freeze it in time...with this blog....till tomorrow...