Just wow....

Not sure if it's a good or bad wow....but wow...lol. I'm going through what has been probably the most interesting times in my life...who knew that 35 would be the year of the dragon...LOL...whatever that means. Seriously though....I'm almost starting to believe in that whole be careful what you wish for thing...work, I'm getting what I want....the infamous move off of the program finally a reality...and someone who I thought was oblivious to my presence...turns out has been carrying a torch for awhile....yep, wow times....
Add that to my kids growing up so quickly....at a time when I'd really with they'd stay little for a bit longer...hubby finally showing some understanding...the apartment that I wanted...good family relationship....maybe it truly IS the end of the world? LOL. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like this new attention....knowing that someone is after me...instead of me after someone for a damn change...sighs....speaking of which...talk about odd odd ODD conversations...the one where the married woman tells her lover, or former lover/friend or whatever the heck they are after sleeping together several times and talking almost every single day....that she made out with yet another guy...who is not her husband....lol. I'm glad he took it so well....although I'm sure that he wouldn't have shown it even if he hadn't...so I guess I'll have to believe what I hear...
In any event....I'm glad that I could talk to him about it....now watch him be my advisor on extra whatever situations...lmao I really meant it though today when I said that I believe that I understand him a bit more....it's not that he doesn't feel anything...he just wants to stay above water...and I can relate to that...today. All that lovey dovey crap just creates issues...lol...
Ok, so...what are my thoughts? How do I feel? Honestly....pretty good....it was nice...and sweet...and I can't think of anyone that would hate if someone they already care about...that happens to be cute and a bit charming....tells them that they're crazy about them...lol...literally...I mean the words that were flowing out of that mouth were just unreal...
And for me...a sucker for romance...it really hit the spot....the setting...and all, was just like something I would have thought up myself for an awesome evening....and no sex!
Maybe it doesn't have to really mean anything other than a sweet friendship....I seem to be accumulating lots of those lately...do you think I'll get miles for it? Gosh I hope not!
Hmmm what do I feel? A little excitement....yes....it feels good...has made me smile a few times...but I can sense the caution...very different than last time where I let myself get completely swept away...I can feel that I'm stronger now...which is great! Plus...I had already gotten used to not paying much attention to him...so I think it's also habit somewhat...lol...
I definitaley like the sensation...crazy and all...I think I'm just plain messed up in the head....