Till the fat lady sings....

And she hasn't yet...so, I'm still writing...lol.
Let's see....looked up some info on my acting lessons teacher....she seems pretty famous in Panama...has been in theatre for a long time, so it looks like I might be getting my money's worth...good! Tons of actors and actresses here...so, actually getting to do something might not be as simple...I bet it's a very competitive environment...but, need to finish the course before I start auditioning for plays...lol.
That's so like me...always ahead of myself...I really wonder why I do that...always thinking faster than life...processing things before they've even happened...lol. It's no wonder I'm having palpitations...my tummy is on a roll...and I'm just one fidgety hyper creature...everything about me is in overdrive...lol. It's exhausting, which is probably why sometimes it all just shifts off...and I spinning down...to the point where I can't even think...or do much at all....
Ah...new maid coming in tomorrow morning....need to meet her before jumping up and down....
If I ever do keel over...and just die...it's because my kids aggravate me right after dinner...I swear....there is no way, I can interact with them for homework...without wishing I could just dissapear....they don't want to read the instructions...want me to answer it all...don't understand how to do it....lazy, spoiled...grrrrrrr!!!!! Have I made their lives a little too comfortable? How I overcompensated for what I didn't have? Why do I care so much about everything...I swear...it's enough to drive any sane being...nuts!
Hubby's on his way!!! YAY! Come and deal with your little monsters...lmao. It was such a nice day...lol....I was in the middle of yelling at my son...and we both just bursted into laughter....I don't know if everyone is on the verge of a nervous breakdown here...or if we just needed a laugh....sometimes...I don't want to be the person that has to discipline....I want to pretend I don't see anything....ignore...and not have to deal with it....their tantrums....needs....I have no patience...lol....
I really feel like laughing at myself today....really hard...and loudly...laugh until my muscles hurt...I'm a riot!
I'm the modern day latin married latin version of Ally McBeal...who can live like that??? LMAO
Please someone say cut! And let's go to commercials!
I actually look forward to work...at least it's more of a controlled environment than this madhouse...have lots to focus on....I'm in my office...and I'm left alone....I really need that...to be left alone sometimes....and I never EVER have that luxury in this house....
Can't imagine what it'll be like in the new place with even less space...maybe that's why I'm not so thrilled to move? Nah...I can always send them downstairs to the pool area...lol
I love my kids...consider myself to be a good mom....but, I'm increasingly losing my cool...and my ability to deal with their nonsense...
There's three of them and only one of me....yep, only one...because dad isn't of much help at all....poor me...NOT. I need to just punish them more...more consequences...they're getting a free ride at my expense...just because I'm protecting them from what I think would be trauma...I'm being too soft....too allowing...and accepting....they're good kids...but they need more limits....tougher love...and not the yelling nagging kind...but the kind where they really lose priviledges....
But...and there's always a but....poor kids..their dad is always working...poor kids they're stuck with a nut job for a mom...poor kids...unlike their friends...both parents work...and don't have the soccer mom and the car pool mom to take them everywhere....and I know there's nothing wrong with that...but in this environment...they're not the norm....and my mommy guilt....allows them to get away with murder.
Am I raising useless little brats....or am I just out of patience? lol...
Can't believe I just called my kids that...but really...
Anyway....till tomorrow....