It's that time again...

To write....hadn't really been in the mood over the last couple of days...I think the last writing spree left me exhausted....it's been an intense week....but ended well, that's always a good thing...and despite me getting upset or concerned...things usually do...end up well for me...I wish I'd remember that when everything seems to look gray....
The house is quiet...the kids like the new maid...and it looks like peace is here again....lol, it always comes back...eventually....I really don't know why I panic....it's a cycle...and I should know better by now...than to let things get to me....but it seems easy now...that the storm is over....or I think it is...lol.
The whole move thing is getting interesting...that should keep me busier...the kids and school...focus on the program at work....new action plans rolled out...the anniversary trip...I'm really excited...and, well...the other trip....haven't thought about much else....
The apartment is turning out nicely....hopefully in just a few more days...I need to call the cable guy...phone people...lol, and get all the last details in place...and tomorrow is the leadership thing...fun! Followed by my acting lessons...I'm so looking forward to Saturdays now...yay!
I'm losing weight....feels nice....flat tummy...the way it should be...getting anxious and hungry though...lol...need to cut that out...and watch myself...just because I'm feeling better...I can't start eating like a piggie again...lol. I need some color on me....let's see if I can get around to it this week...lots going on here though...just the way I like it!
I'm in a good place.....wish I could stay here...lol...but knowing me it's temporary...sighs...oh well, need to make the most of it...since these happy phases are pretty short and not as often...lol. That's terrible...that I can be so negative...but, guess it takes all kinds of emotions to make the whole me! Not really in the mood to analyze things...more in enjoy...take in....and anticipate alot right now....there's peace...even in the not to smart decisions....I know what I want...at least for the next month or so...LOL...well, it's a start....
Hmmm...not really inspired to write too much today....would much rather watch tv right now...how shallow...lol...but, I'm kinda tired...all the inner excitement I guess...lol, and the emotional roller coaster I've been on for the last couple of days too....things are finally settling...and I'm feeling it....funny.
I smile big when I think about seeing my gfds....and just spending some time with them....out in the world...free....my time...for me...can't get enough of that...selfish creature that I am...but, don't regret it....
Need to pack this weekend...I'm leaving tons of junk behind....and probably leaving some spaces empty...until I get the furniture that I want...I hate the whole in the mean time stuff...you get so comfy with it...that it's never replaced...because you bought the stuff you could afford at the time...not really what you liked most...so, I'm going for what I like..even if I have to wait....no entertaining guests until I have it...or...just plain ole chairs and tables...no biggie....
The first dinner will be fun....I really like the place...and am in move mode now....dunno what was stopping me....but, I'm ready now...lol, weird....
I'm starting to believe in the whole sexual peak thing...my mind wanders many many times a day....especially when I'm driving...I realize it because one moment I'm day dreaming...and the next the music on the radio sucks...lol, and I hadn't realized it...or it's classical music...that I wouldn't have chosen maybe...lol funny...
It's really fun to daydream....play out interesting scenarios....explore sensations even if it's my imagination....and I smile big...smile alot....
Maybe that's why I'm tired too...not getting much sleep...lol....always up to something...and having a blast...
I think I'm more relaxed....don't think as much about the things that I shouldn't...and just focus on the moment....it can be quite enjoyable...no shyness...no limits....whatever I feel like....hubby seems to have fun...lol.
It sounds terrible, but it's become my favorite sport...LOL...well, I think it's always been something I've liked...just hadn't really explored it much...really haven't either now...but, I've made some progress....lol, I think...lmao!
Maybe it's all of those chemicals that we release....oxytocin...endorphins...all that drug like feel good stuff...lol....it must be what being high must feel like....just floating..enjoying...no pain...lol...no worries...just letting go...and taking it all in....
Yep, I guess I do like sex...alot...lol. Why not? It's fn and burns calories..when done well...hehehe...what the heck do I know about well? Well..I do know when it feels amazing....makes me want to just move with the electricity in my body...ok, enough...lol...it's too early and too many kids around for this kinda talk here....
I think I'll watch tv....lol...until next time.